Parents seeking help for their troubled teens rarely catch a break trying to find a way to pay for the help they need. One option available for some families is associated with adopted girls. If you are a parent who has adopted a girl from the state of California we may be able to help you. California has set some funds aside for girls adopted through state adoption agencies. The help we can assist with unfortunately doesn’t apply to girls adopted through private adoption agencies.

Help for Boys Adopted in California

If you are the parents of an adopted boy through the state of California you may qualify for some financial assistance toward a boarding school. California has set some funds aside for parents that are struggling with a troubled defiant teenager and the boy was adopted through the state of California. Unfortunately the help is not available for boys adopted through private adoption agencies. Please give us a call if you have an adopted son in California.

Insurance Coverage for Teen Programs

A question many parents ask when seeking help for a teen is, “will insurance cover this type of placement”? Most of the time the answer is no. There is one exception that we have had some success with, and that is Aetna Insurance. We work with a program that may be able to utilize your Aetna PPO insurance policy. The insurance will pay for part of the program giving parents time to arrange for ongoing financial obligations when the insurance runs out. In some cases all parents need is a little help to get their child in a more safe environment. The Aetna PPO option applies to both boys and girls. If you need help and have Aetna Insurance please give us a call 800 781 8081.

Divorce is a like a plague in our society today. Many young people leave marriage at the first sign of trouble. Rather than stick things out and make the marriage work, some couples just quit. The Bible speaks negatively about divorce, and it is no wonder why. The devastation that is created by divorce seems to be severely negatively affecting our young people. Some children that have watched their parents go through a divorce want nothing to do with marriage, when they come of age. It is sad that the divinely inspired union seems to be fading away. There are still couples that take their marriage vows seriously, and are committed to each other until death. These are becoming the exception rather than the rule. The term Blended Family almost seems like an oxymoron. The family is blended, but not in a positive way. Imagine the trauma a teen or young child must experience when they lose the security they once felt as a family.  Now they have a new parent in their life, and possibly some new siblings. Along with the new parent and additional family members come new rules, new house, new school, and on and on. This can leave a youngster upset even angry. Some teens are not sure who they are mad at, so they begin to be rude and mean to everyone. We are not pointing the finger of ridicule at anyone. It is difficult to make a marriage work. It would seem that at the center of every good marriage is religion and a belief in God. This doesn’t mean that religious people are immune from divorce, maybe just that successful marriages usually have God involved.

Religious Mixed Families

When families split and parents remarry or begin living with another person, problems soon begin to occur. This is especially true when someone in the family has a religious conviction. If a marriage breaks up and both parents were Baptist, and they remarry to people from other faiths this complicates things drastically. Let’s say for example, that both divorced parents are devout Christian’s and they marry someone that is Jewish, and someone that is Muslim. Where will the children go to church? Will they be baptized? Will they have any religious teaching in the home? If people are religious and believe in God they will more than likely have strong feelings about how their children are taught, and where they go to church. We are not trying to say every divorce will end in this scenario, but before deciding to leave a spouse, these types of things should be discussed. If not prior to divorce, definitely before another family a “blended family” is created. It is not always the case, but many families are broken up because one of the parents may have engaged in adultery. This is not meant to condemn that person, but simply to state that the person will need to reconcile things with God in order for his or her life to move positively forward. If a person has broken the commandments they will need to repent, not only to set an example for their children but to gain forgiveness from God. When someone is fighting feelings of guilt, they will never find true happiness, in marriage or on their own.

How Great Thou Art is one of the best all time religious songs. It is an expression of the greatness of our Creator. There must be music in Heaven, many people believe that God created music to uplift and inspire us as we journey through this life. As in everything, Satan has an imitation form of music, which is designed to do the opposite. Some types of music degrade women, sing and rap about immorality, and deny the very existence of God. A Christian may wonder if the music isn’t uplifting or inspirational, what is it’s purpose, and where did it originate? Some believe that Satan, a liar from the beginning is involved somewhere along the way. Music that leads children and teen’s to use drugs, have sex out of marriage, and harm other people can not be inspired of God so it must be of the Devil. This may be too simplistic for some people, but not difficult at all for someone who knows what is going on in the world today.

Children and Music

With the counterfeit music so readily available in the world today parents need to pay attention what their children are listening to. Just because “everyone” is listening to music doesn’t necessarily make it OK for your children. It is good to look at the list of titles of the music on a children’s I pod or listening device of choice. If the title doesn’t indicate the type of music, parents may need to search online for the lyrics to the songs. This may be necessary as some songs are difficult to understand. It only stands to reason that if a child is listening to songs about drugs, sex, and other improper activities they will be more tempted to participate in these activities than if they weren’t listening these types of songs.

Teaching Moment

Discovering that a child is listening to inappropriate music shouldn’t bring down the wrath of the parents, but open a discussion on what types of music are good and wholesome. Even in the modern vernacular there are songs that are good and uplifting. There may be some songs that are borderline that can be agreed upon by both parents and children. Too much control is never a good thing, but parents should definitely be involved when the child or teen is listening to something that goes against the families basic values. The teen may not even be aware that what he or she is listening to is not good. There are some songs that the lyrics are difficult to understand. Growing up, there are songs that we listened to that we still may not be clear what the lyrics are. Parents should not try to be the Emperor and determine what is good music and what isn’t. Parents should work with their children to help them get a handle on what they are listening to and the ability to determine if it fits in with their personal belief system. At least they will understand that some music is just not good for them to listen to. They may also learn that music does have an influence on how we act.

Jesus taught us not to be critical of each other, and to only judging each other righteously. This can be difficult for us especially when things are going well in our lives. For example when our children are not in trouble ,when we are doing well financially, and we are not going through a time of stress. It is times like these when most people are more likely to look down their noses at others. When a little child cries and needs to be taken out of church, when a family shows up late, hair not combed, clothes not ironed, wearing the scent of a few days without a bath. It is easy to think, “at least our children are clean, or at least we take the time to iron our clothes or hang them up”. It is much more difficult to try to imagine what the family has been through the past week. This may be what Jesus was trying to teach us when he said, “Judge no that ye be not judged.” The rest of the scripture is even better, “for with the same judgement that ye judge, ye shall also be judged.” (paraphrased) This could mean if we are willing to give people a break and cut them some slack, Jesus may do the same when it comes time to judge us?

Judging Parenting Skills

Adult peer pressure can be a lot more difficult to live up to than the pressure teens deal with. For example a family in the church has a teen that has been arrested, or has just been expelled from school. The teen is a train wreck, abusing drugs, having sex, in total defiance of the family rules. Other parents can easily observe the chaos the family is in and think, where did the parents go wrong?” Others may immediately assume the parents have failed to teach the teen what is right and wrong. It is so easy to be critical of a situation like this. True friends and disciples of the Savior will not be bashful to step up and offer any help they can to the family in distress. Another important factor to consider when “judging” this type of situation, is the free agency of the teen that is obviously choosing an alternative path. It may be that the parents have spent more time and energy on this child than families with “well behaved” children and teens. It may even be the “well behaved” children are equally as bad, but have just not been caught yet. Everyone comes to earth with the ability to choose which path they will follow. There are some teens that may take a different path for a while, and then return to what they have been taught. In Proverbs 22 we learn that we are to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (paraphrased) Interesting that it doesn’t say force a child to do what is right and he will not depart. The word train means exactly that train the online dictionary defines train as:  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/train

Every year hundreds of young people are trapped into a life of prostitution and drug abuse. The trap is set by pimps and drug dealers. Their goal is to have as many prostitutes working for them as humanly possible. They accomplish this by taking in stray teens that have found themselves on the streets with no place to go, and nothing to eat. Many times when a young person runs away they think everything will work out for them. Once the reality of life on the streets away from home hits them and they are hungry and cold and soon become vulnerable to the perceived “kindness” of a pimp.

The teen prostitute will have sex with the pimp, he will tell her that he loves her, and then give her some drugs and pretty soon the window of opportunity for her to leave gets smaller and smaller. The trapped teen begins to feel terrible about the situation they are in, they soon believe that even their parents wouldn’t want them back now. In some cases this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Most parents would love to have a chance to talk to their teen, but the pimp will continue to reiterate that their parents won’t want them back now. Along with prostitution the pimp wants the teen to have a dependency on some type of drug. With no money the teen will not be able to supply their new drug habit unless the pimp provides the drugs for them. This gives the despicable pimp a two prong hook to hold the teen with. In a matter of a few short days the teen is dependent on the pimp for food, lodging, drugs, and “love”.

There is Help

With the teen totally dependent on the pimp for their daily needs, things can seem a little helpless for both the teen and their family. There are some organizations that have developed programs to help with teens in this predicament. One State has instituted a program for young prostitutes, basically turning the arrested youth from a criminal into the victim that they really are. The teen in reality, is a victim of human trafficking, in this case teen trafficking. The teens are also abused by the pimp that has trapped the vulnerable youth. The teen will be put under a protection order, this will give the teen a chance to clear their mind and contact their parents. This option gives them the chance to hit the restart button, go back, and start over, rather than continue in the cycle of arrest and abuse they are destined for. Christian Boarding Schools US commends the State of Massachusetts for implementing this new law. This will surely impact the lives of many teens and families that have been devastated by the illegal antics of greedy pimps. To read more about this new measure follow this link. This law will require police and law officials to handle the young people totally different than they have in the past. This does not mean police have done anything wrong in the past.  This new law gives them the opportunity to get to the real perpetrator of the crimes they have been arresting the youth for.

Some states do not provide much oversight for programs designated as Christian Programs, or Christian Boarding Schools. This may be due to the desire to keep church and state separate. At any rate many Christian programs, Christian Boot Camps, and Christian Boarding Schools do not have a lot of regulations mandated by the state they are located in. Some people may think this is not a good situation for any business to run without state regulations. In reality there are many Christian schools and programs that run very well and have done so for years. To think that simply because the state has power over a school doesn’t necessary make it better than a non-state regulated program. In fact there are program owners that would say it may even be better.

Government Employees

One previous program owner is convinced that the state would not rest until they had closed his program down. This was due in part to the state official vindicating what she saw as injustice by the program administration. It may also have been due to the state official not wanting to oversee another program. Let’s face it, people that are employed by the government don’t really care if a business succeeds, it may be more to their advantage to watch it fail. The government employee gets paid regardless of the amount of private businesses they oversee. Once they are employed by the State they immediately gain a lot of power. What they say is right even if it is wrong, it may be much easier to push a program to closure than to have to deal with it.

Private and Christian Boarding School Monitoring 

If the boarding schools, boot camps, and teen programs were wise they would consider implementing an oversight board of their own. This would alleviate a lot of bureaucratic involvement in the industry. Rules and regulations could be set with the board being made up of members with no financial interest in any entity, but the industry as a whole. This board could see that regulation and minimum standards are met and that programs are required to adhere to a minimum code of ethics. There are currently some private groups that monitor schools and programs but nothing that oversees the industry as a whole. Some of these tight nit groups currently in existence are more of a private click than an oversight board. These groups have their own interest at heart, yet claim to be interested in the care and welfare of the children, teens, and parents. For an oversight process, committee, and board to be effective, it would need to be inclusive rather than exclusive. All entities in the industry would need to be recognized as viable, and possibly various levels of accreditation developed to assure that parents knew exactly what they were getting into. Representative George Miller from California has long been an advocate of government oversight of the troubled teen industry, but it doesn’t seem that legislation has been passed as of yet. It would be wise for those currently engaged in the troubled teen industry to take steps to regulate themselves before the government steps in.

Parenting in the world today can be a real challenge. Trying to help a child discover the peace that comes from following a Gospel centered life can be difficult in today’s society. The public education system follows what is known as Humanistic belief system, If you want to see what is at the bottom of the  National Education Systems core values do some research on what they are founded on. Understanding what they are founded on will be of great help in determining why they do what they do. Here is a link to some information on Humanism. There are many articles explaining the relationship between public education and Humanism. A simple Google search on “national education system and humanism” will produce a lot of very interesting information. Many people simply don’t understand why the public schools are so adamant about teaching sex education, and the insistent on teaching about the “Big Bang Theory”, while refusing to talk about The Creation. Once it is clear that Humanism is about teaching Atheism things begin to become very clear.

Private Schools and Christianity

Some parents are so disgusted at the separation of religion from the education their children are receiving they remove their children and begin to home teach them. There are private schools that are allowed to talk about God and the fact that he created the world. The Big Bang farce is exposed as the fraud it really is, and things begin to make much more sense to children from Christian families. Parents that are unable to afford to home teach their children or place them in a private school can also make the best of the situation they are in. This can be done by helping children with homework, and staying involved their child’s entire education process. Parents can sit on school boards and attend education meetings in their community. Since the basis of the NEA is atheistic, Christian parents will need to be vigilant to see that what their child is being taught is congruent with their families belief system. A great resource for parents wanting to provide an education at home is ACE.

It is OK that other religions are discussed, children should learn and be tolerant of all religious beliefs. Parents need to make sure that their children understands the difference in an educators opinion and what their family beliefs are. Parents should read every book that a child will be using in school to make sure that their family values are not being undermined. This is not meant as a criticism of all public school teachers and administrators, many are good God fearing people that are caught working in a system they may not even understand. The majority of school teachers are very dedicated, and have heart felt desires to see their students succeed.

In summary don’t shoot (blame) the messenger, the curriculum that teachers receive come from the National Education Association. In order to establish a more Christian style education it is necessary to make changes from the top down rather than trying at a classroom level. That is why it is critical that parents review what their children are studying. Children are in school 5 days a week, how much time do parents spend teaching their children and overseeing what they are being taught?

Few people would associate a military boot camp with a Christian boarding school. There are a few such places in existence today, they are known as Christian Boot Camps. They have the advantage of using Christian teachings within the structure of a military setting. Christian schools are based on the principles taught in the Bible, religion is a main component of these types of schools. When a child believes in God and Jesus Christ it is easier to help them make necessary corrections in their lives. If a child has lost faith and doesn’t believe in God it doesn’t matter to them if the things they are doing goes against their former belief system. They are only interested in what will make them happy right now. It is sad to watch a Christian child self destruct rebelling against their parents and more importantly their God. There is a chance that a child may repent and return to God in a Christian environment, but the placement in a Christian Boot Camp or Christian Boarding School can not guarantee this will happen. Of course there is a better chance for them to return to God when he is presented as a way out of the trouble they are in. Which is the advantage a Christian type school can offer.

Christian Boarding Schools

Unlike the Christian Boot Camps mentioned previously the Christian Boarding School may be less structured and a little less disciplined than the boot camp. The Bible is still at the center, and is the foundation for the program, but it is usually a little less structured. There are always rules in any type of boarding environment that will help the students make appropriate choices, and stay on the right track. Both types of programs, both boot camp, and boarding school have church services on Sunday and devotionals during the week. This helps remind the students why they are there, and the importance of making wise choices. For example one can only imagine how different things might be if everyone lived the 10 Commandments. Children honoring their parents, people loving their neighbors, everyone worshiping God. The world would indeed be a different place to live. Crime would be greatly reduced possible eliminated, children would be raised with both parents, and on and on. The reality is not everyone lives by the commandments, if fact it might be fair to say there are those who don’t even know what the commandments are. The world is not a perfect place just like those of us living here are not perfect. The goal is to overcome our imperfections and become like more God.

Train Up A Child

The scriptures teach parents to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22;6)  interesting it didn’t say force up a child, it is a very difficult path a parent walks when trying to help their child realize where they really came from and why they are here on earth. Many parents have forced their child to do what they the parents believe are the right things to do. This usually doesn’t end well with the child soon in a full rebellion, refusing not only to go to church and keep the commandments, but refusing to do anything the parents ask. It is a difficult thing for a parent to watch their child reject the teachings they have had since they were born. It is important to realize that the best way to teach a child is to love them unconditionally and provide a good example for them to follow.

The main difference between a private Christian boarding school and the public school system is the freedom Christian schools have to talk freely about God. In the last 20 years schools have gotten farther and farther away from allowing any mention of Deity in the public school setting. Interesting that a society that used to teach about God in the classroom and even allow prayer in school has moved so far away. Those behind the movement declare it has to be so to stay in line with separation of church and state. This is nonsense to believers in Christ and God and they know where the restrictions are really initiated. The constant beat of the Atheist drum is so loud in the ears of teens today, it makes it difficult for the youth of today to hear anything else. The false idea of “no accountability” and the untrue teaching that “this life is all there is”, can be appealing to a teen seeking self gratification.

Religious Values Taught at School

Teens are taught at school that it is OK to have sex, just use birth control. Some places allow teens to obtain birth control without their parents knowledge. At least in a Christian School the youth are exposed to religion, God, and accountability for their actions. Some homes have daily prayer, and discuss God on a regular basis, but many do not. When parents fail to take time to discuss these important things, teens are left to learn what they are taught by educators. The problem is educators may not believe the same things the parents of their students do. When the teens only hear what is explained to them by people other than their parents, they may become confused and decide to avoid the topic all together.

United States and Religion

Wikipedia has this to say about religion:

“According to recent surveys, 83 percent of Americans claim to belong to a religious denomination, 40 percent claim to attend services nearly every week or more, and 58 percent claim to pray at least weekly.A majority of Americans report that religion plays a “very important” role in their lives, a proportion unusual among developed nations.Many faiths have flourished in the United States, including both later imports spanning the country’s multicultural immigrant heritage, as well as those founded within the country; these have led the United States to become one of the most religiously diverse countries in the world.”

It seems that the United States, religion, freedom to worship, and desire to worship used to all be more connected to each other. The focus now seems to be a push to assure that the minority of people (those who do not believe in God) are not offended. This may come at the expense of our children not having any exposure to God or, religion at all. This at time when God is needed more than any other time in the history of this great country. It is truly sad that the freedom to worship has been twisted so far as to disallow even the mention of God in any public setting for fear of offending a small minority of people.

How many parents of troubled teens are tired of hearing their child tell them, “I won’t do as you ask and you can’t make me”? Part of the problem is the public education system in an effort to prevent child abuse has created a monster in the way of disobedient youth. As soon as the youngster discovers that a call to CPS or even the threat of call gives them the upper hand, things start to spiral downward. The only recourse some parents have is to place their child in a boarding school away from home. A Christian Boarding School can help a family that has built their home on Christian values. The Bible is used on a daily basis in some Christian Boarding Schools reinforcing the teachings of the Christian youth. It may seem harsh to force a child to go to a school they really don’t want to attend. It is more difficult to watch as the child spirals downward into a life of drugs, legal problems and possibly death. Parents can become desperate when they watch the child they love disintegrate into nothing more than a pot head with no ambition for anything except their next high.

Education in a Christian Boarding School 

As in any educational setting teens in a Christian Boarding School are required to continue to do their school work. Some Christian Schools use online computer study that allows the child to move ahead and get caught up if they are behind in school. One of the largest educational resources for Christian schools is ACE. ACE is the acronym for Accelerated Christian Education. In a society that has removed God from every aspect ACE is a breathe of fresh air. They offer Bible based learning including teaching from God’s point of view. It is a good idea to verify that credits provided by ACE will be accepted by the school the child will be placed in after placement in a school that uses ACE. There are those that believe when God was taken out of the classroom and schools in general, our country began to decline. The students are bombarded with pornography, violence, and substance abuse. Schools are allowed to talk about the big bang theory as if it were factual, but can not mention God or the fact that he created the world we live in. It is no wonder that children are frustrated, confused, and angry. The teens are told by their parents to wait until they are married to have sex, and then taught in school sex education classes not only how to have sex, but where to obtain birth control devices. Some parents are fortunate enough to be able to send their children to Christian Schools just to make sure they are taught the truth, and allowed to do so in a positive environment where God is included. The remainder that do not have the resources for this type of placement continue to fight with the education system for a fair shake and equal time for Creationism. There are those that believe that the National Education Association is founded on humanism, which may explain why schools have turned their backs on religion, God and creationism. Whether you believe this or not, it is interesting to investigate what the underlying mission statement of those teaching our children really is.